hiding beneath my blankets and sheets i'm finally free/i'm killing the ghost of you and i'm close to awakening me

Oh, Matty. I love that you are my own personal optimist. Look, it's not that I'd turn this imaginary guy away, simply that I don't need to sit around thinking about finding someone & wanting something to happen. Because as I was recently reminded, I am no good with all this relationship crap. I get retarded and honestly, I hated the way I was when the little spot in my heart that had been shut down for so long re-opened and started flashing "man! crush! need! want!" For me it's a road that always, always ends up in misery. "I'm getting tired of useless desires" to quote my dearest Patty Griffin. It might be sad for you to think I'd feel that way, but I'm saner/happier being on my own and not torturing myself with imagined "what ifs". Maybe it's just easier, but I need some easy right now. Besides, I'm not giving up or anything... I'm just waiting for Matt Keeslar.

ps: My friend Shawn has joined the blogspot madness! Go here:
http://stillbeonmyfeet.blogspot.com/

subject: Anna Nalick, "bleed" from WRECK OF THE DAY
dvd: REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE