he stood looking thru the lace/at the face on the conquered moon/& counting all the cars going up the hill/& the stars on my windowsill

i broke the rule, dammit.
the rule about not talking to any cute guys?
here's what: NYC, as I mentioned before- teeming with great looking guys. it kinda pisses me off. in fact, i tend to see a guy i find attractive, and get really annoyed. like, fuck you for being so good looking that you'll never look my way. bastards!
and of course, we all know my history- cute guys at work? my weakness. so i told myself- do. not. talk. to. cute. guys. at. work.
don't crush. don't even think about crushing!

there's a guy in the music department. tall. brown hair. a beard. (open letter to the men of NYC, the beards are working. please shave them so that i won't like you all so damn much) i saw him once, then again while on break. and then? i heard Patty Griffin on the in-store play. i had to stop and wonder why there was just one song of hers on- "The Rowing Song". so, when i went downstairs to punch out for the day, happy & excited about meeting up with Lily, X+J for dinner at the Hollywood Diner, I was going to stop into music and ask the one music person I've met (Mr. Fabulous C.) what cd we had that was teasing me with a Patty song, and leaving me disappointed. I went into music, and while the Fabulous Mr. C. was there, so was cute- gorgeous- music guy. guess who i gravitated towards? and as should be expected, i instantly fly my dork flag boldly- finding out that it's a Putumayo folk collection & saying that it's not right that they're playing ONE Patty song because it makes me have to hear more, more, more. GMGuy says "yeah, that's the point! i'll be sure to let the Putumayo people know." which, is exactly the sort of answer I would have given someone who said something this lame to me when I was back in the music dept. in Miami. Like, yeah... don't talk to me about the in-store plays, I'm not a DJ. I say "yeah, consider this my official complaint" and he's like "noted." And then I walk out of the music department, into the break room, out of the building, get on my phone and call Lily to tell her that I am... an ass. It's funny- I *JUST* finished reading SUPERSTUD by Paul Feig the previous day... did I learn NOTHING from the book? Did it not remind me of myself everytime he would say something that was so wrong/embarrassing? Apparently, I don't learn. Let's face it, kids... I'm a dork. A dork who can never go into the music department again.

part two. Lily rides into the city with me yesterday. I suggest that while she's there, she go to Circuit City and pick up the new Bruce dvd she's obsessed with. She thinks this is a good idea. Moments later, she comes upstairs to tell me that we have it at Barnes for a good price & asks me to pick it up for her. I agree. It's not until I go downstairs for my break and see GMGuy standing in his section that I realize what picking up this dvd for Lily entails. Luckily, I found the dvd without having to ask him where it was, because I'm sure I would have said something else worthy of sticking my foot in my mouth.

anyway. in other news- i really like my job. i like the people on the floor I work on and *most* of them *seem* to like me, too. which is good. there's one girl who kind of always seems to be looking at me like- i can't believe what a dork you are. which is ok, because i'm a geek and this is alright. i still haven't spent much time in Union Square despite the fact that it's right across the street from the store. I keep meaning to go there during my break... I mean, come ON why stay in the break room? Especially now that I will have to turtle into my shirt whenever the GMGuy enters. And that's the last you're going to see me say about that.

so great to have Lily here at last! It feels like everything is now complete. AND bonus- we have achieved Gilliane! Yes, Gilliane is now in the city! We're collecting people... it's insane that we're all here. and that there are more of us on the way. Insane in a really great way.

um. i'm tired of typing. so... later.

rick
who will not even *mention* the beautiful, REALLY tall guy in the café who is named... are you ready for it? it should come as no surprise at all... Matt.

listening to: Joni Mitchell: Ladies of the Canyon (quote in the title is from "Willy")
reading: You Shall Know Our Velocity! by Dave Eggars
dvd player: still trying to finish the US "Cracker"...