i might like you better if we slept together

Blade: Trinity? Sucks.

I know, I shouldn't be surprised. I liked the first one okay, the second kicked ass- Guillermo Del Toro factor. Not much of a fan of David Goyer's writing... which is why I truly fear BATMAN BEGINS. Ooohhh it's gonna suck. What's up with the actors we love being in this?? Parker Posey?!? OK she has done some shite films... but they've been fun shite (Josie & the Pussycats? Total guilty pleasure!) Natasha Lyonne?? As the blind science chick?? Lyonne, please... don't say yes anymore. We love you, you mustn't hurt yourself. Plus- the combination of Parker Posey & John Michael Higgins in the first 10 minutes of the film made me wonder if it was going to be a Christopher Guestish mockumentary Blade-style. When the FBI Agent played by James Remar said "let's go get this guy" and of COURSE his partner HAS to say "That's what I'm talking about!" I knew for sure that I was in for something much, much worse than I had expected. So why did I rent it, you're wondering?

Clearly, my main reason for renting the movie was Ryan Reynolds . And as far as that aspect of the film goes, it's thumbs up all the way. Love the beard... but I sorta miss the adorable cute Ryan of Van Wilder/Dick/The In-Laws days. Not that I object to the current model & did I mention I love the beard??? What does it matter, Alanis has him anyway, lucky girl. However, I was surprised to see that even when Ryan Reynolds pulls his pants down to reveal his enticing "V" area it didn't save the movie for me one bit. It was a good idea and you know... ok it's ok I guess- the DIALOGUE. the dialogue is what really sucked. hmmm.... luckily our boy Ry got the best lines (and kudos for making him that rarest of things- a gay character in an action movie! wait... what? Hannibal wasn't gay? oh... that changes everything....) and there is an excellent scene between him & Parker Posey (it IS the shirtless torture room scene, but that's not why it's the best scene in the film!). I really can't wait for him to do something kickass- Cameron Crowe needs to cast him in a film!!

I love Wesley Snipes. When he's in something like ONE NIGHT STAND he kicks SO much ass.... Jessica Biel? I'm pretty sure that I saw something with her and thought "wow, she's not bad." So maybe it's the character she played, but it was pretty awful. Callum Keith Rennie, Canada's treasure, was also in the film. I would've liked to see more scenes with him & Parker- campy fun. Dominic Purcell (of John Doe um, fame) looks really good without a shirt on. And finally, the vampire Pomeranian? Good stuff.

ok that's it for tonight, kids... My next dvd is the first series of CRACKER (which i netflixed 'cuz the writer of STATE OF PLAY is behind it), but not till tomorrow.... SNL time now! Johnny Knoxville? Yummmm....


but no Ryan Reynolds.
-rick