i can't stand up i can't cool down i can't get my head off the ground

you know... we should all love the pixies. we should all listen to them often. they make me unbelievably happy. which maybe isn't the typical response to the pixies music, but there you have it. i'm atypical.

just some updates.
i love my job. i mean, at first i was thinking, maybe it's just because it's something different. maybe i love it the way i loved working for B&N when i first started & soon it will fade and i'll want to cut myself everytime i have to go to work.
but so far, no. i enjoy it. i really like the people there and even the one i thought didn't like me seems to not hate me, so... and i got to meet Neil Gaiman. PLUS i've been getting an extra day every week, which means I don't have to look for anything else and/or sell myself on the cold dark streets of the big city. good thing, that because i'm not sure anyone would buy & this would lead to even lower self esteem & then to therapy, which irony of ironies, i wouldn't be able to afford without having to sell myself on the aforementioned cold dark city streets.
my room still has the scary Rosemary's Baby yellow walls. and between 4 and 6 o'clock the sun comes in and causes the world's worst glare off of the television set, making it impossible to watch anything.
anything like SIX FEET UNDER, which I have decided to name the Best Television Show Ever. I know, I know- everyone has their opinion. Lily & Dave would say that SPORTS NIGHT has the distinction and X proclaimed that only SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS could be called such a thing. I'm sorry, you're all wrong. In the past, maybe I'd have agreed on the SPORTS NIGHT thing. I might have made a case for BUFFY (although there were some really crappy episodes of that show- "Beer Bad" being the number one offender, followed by many episodes of Season Seven). However, no. SIX FEET UNDER=Best Television Show Ever. I'm watching season 4 on dvd and it's just... so fucking surreal. so hysterical and sad and they're all so flawed and I never know what to expect, where it's going to go, when it will twist or turn. (except for when i do, like when every magazine under the sun prints things like "--- DIES!" but then i blame myself, because I didn't have HBO and see everything a year after it happens) Anyway, that's sorted. Best Television Show Ever.
Umm... what else? Going to see SERENITY this weekend! I managed to find myself working with another huge Joss fan, which is good. The only question is... shall I wear my cunning hat to the movie? I have found that I absolutely can't wear my JOSS WHEDON IS MY MASTER NOW t-shirt, because while deep down inside I actually *am* "that guy"... I can't do it. It's too much like... i dunno- wearing Darth Maul makeup to a Star Wars movie. But my hat? Maybe I'm just a guy wearing a crocheted beanie... or maybe it's a whole Jayne thing, who can say- it's open to interpretation, unlike the JOSS WHEDON IS MY MASTER NOW t-shirt. It's a fine line between geeky fandom and full-on overboard fanboydom, is what i'm saying. in my own run-on sentenced kinda way.
Right. I think that's all. Oh, except that one of the MySpace peeps had asked me to tell the Parker Posey story. (My thing now as far as MySpace is that I'm just a MySpace whore. I figure as long as I've gone back to keep in touch with my ex-work peeps, I may as well just add everyone & seem really popular.) Anyway- Parker Posey was on the phone, looking for a book. I helped her, professing my love for her (It's true, I broke my Do Not Talk To Celebrities, Especially Those You Adore rule and blurted out "i love you!") She said she loved me too. I immediately was like "oh people probably say that to you all the time." She said she loved it, especially over the phone. I suggested someplace for her to look for what she needed, since we didn't have it, she said "thank you baby" in a very unexpected Southern kinda way. My day was pretty much made after that. Fortunately, I didn't tell her that she was the reason I was working there (I saw Party Girl & thought- wow, working with books is so cool! I became obsessed with working at a bookstore & voila! This is true. and kind of embarrassing, now that I think of it.)
Yeah and finally- the reason Broadway is dying (besides the fact that the new shows are all fucking based on movies- Shrek! by SAM FUCKING MENDES?!?! And don't get me started on "Oprah Winfrey Presents The Color Purple". Yeah. The musical. fucking hell) Besides all that- the reason is that you have to be starring *in* a Broadway show to be able to afford to go to one. I was looking up prices online (I am dying to see SWEENEY TODD when it opens- I mean, Patti LuPone terrifies me, but in this case it's beneficial as it's SWEENEY TODD) and dude... 170-280 bucks a pop! I figured, "oh, Sweeney is new, so maybe that's why." AVENUE Q? Which is like 3 years old? Same prices. DOUBT, too. It makes me really want to cry. I was hoping that once things got settled I could maybe see a show a month, but at prices like this I really don't think so. I can't justify paying almost half my monthly rent to see a show, no matter how badly I want to. No, it'll be cast albums and my imagination, unless I can meet Stephen Sondheim & seduce him, guaranteeing that I'll get into any show I want to see.
...mmm not a bad idea.

rick
in the ipod: Tegan & Sara/SO JEALOUS (this cd will never get old. current favorite track: I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW)
in the dvd player: SIX FEET UNDER (sadly, only 4 episodes to go. i may cry.)
in the bookbag; ANANSI BOYS (love the funeral scene, Gaiman)
in the subject line: The Pixies/Head On. which I've been listening to a lot lately. It's my NYC theme song.
logged into AIM: Me=rbsayre and not a blogstalker to be found. my interest is piqued...

i remember the day when the young man came/he said "your jackie's gone, he got lost in the rain"

for my birthday someone better fucking take me to see Sinéad O'Connor at Webster Hall on December 8th or 9th.

that's all.

rick

watching: Six Feet Under/Season 4
listening: Dar Williams
reading: Nick Hornby/Long Way Down
days till SERENITY: FIVE!!!

I'M TAKING REX HIS LUNCH!!

hellllooo blogstalkers.

been a while. very busy. but had to tell you about today. not the bit about going to the DMV for the second time in a week, either. the bit about meeting Neil Gaiman.

so when i started at the store there was a huge surprise- Neil Gaiman (my very very favorite writer ever) was going to be at our store. i was super psyched.

and then i forgot to ask for the day off. i was closing. so, i asked my manager if i could take my break at 6:00, at least attend the event, if not to get my book signed & everything. because honestly, an autograph? i don't know... not a GIANT deal to me... although i suppose my feelings are slightly conflicted as you shall see later.

anyway- Tom, one of the managers working tonight, came upstairs and asked one of the leads if he liked Neil Gaiman as he was looking for someone to work the event... I jump in and say I LOVE NEIL GAIMAN! I felt very much like Liv Tyler in EMPIRE RECORDS. Although at no point did I try to seduce Neil into taking my virginity & as far as I know, Renée Zellweger didn't fuck him on the photocopier. He's far too hot for me & Renée wasn't there, anyway. so i got post-it duty! yes, my job was to find out everyone's name, plant the post-it on the dedication page so that Neil could personalize each & every book (as long as it was a copy of ANANSI BOYS. until the rules changed like 3 times during the course of the night...) SO I go to my break early (5:15ish) and come back like 10 minutes early to get up there. A cute B&N event guy I haven't seen before gives me the run down, the place is PACKED- no seats left at all... And Neil comes in. He gives a talk, does a reading, answers some questions- and it's all what you would expect... he's just brilliant, funny, clever. And when he walked in... when i saw him walking towards the crowd, I was so excited! This is the man who has brought so much magic into my world... from Sandman to my favorite novel, Good Omens- there he was!

After the Q&A I became post it guy, walking down every aisle asking people for their names... sorta fun, although there were a couple of people who i'd like to put hexes on. This is at about 7:00. Fast forward to Midnight, because that's when it was finally winding down. The very awesome woman in charge of the event, whose name I don't think I even found out even though she's like my second favorite person from NYC so far (The fabulous L- being #1 in my book), told me that she was going to make sure I got up there to meet him & have him sign my book after the last customer. Which was so fantastic of her. And it was like 10 after midnight. And I got up there. And she told him that I was a big fan & that I'd been doing the post-its. He shook my hand & I said something lame like "i hope it was legible" and he thanked me and signed my book. And honestly? I think at that point he was over it and I was pretty over it, because that was it. Granted, my Don't Talk To Celebrities (Especially Ones You Adore) rule wouldn't have allowed for much conversation anyway, but everyone was just so exhausted. It was almost like, yep- you signed? awesome. sleep now. Plus, I was so tired of writing at that point, I can pretty much Imagine that he was just as done as I was. BUT... I met Neil Gaiman!!

I also talked to Parker Posey on the phone, but perhaps this is a story for another time.
love,
Rick
cd player: Dar Williams: My Better Self
dvd player: Simpsons Season Six ....STILL
bookbag: Nick Hornby/Long Way Down (loving it)
title: Empire Records, you ignoramus.

i'm loving angels instead

Central Park- Bethesda Fountain- Sunday 9.11.05

he stood looking thru the lace/at the face on the conquered moon/& counting all the cars going up the hill/& the stars on my windowsill

i broke the rule, dammit.
the rule about not talking to any cute guys?
here's what: NYC, as I mentioned before- teeming with great looking guys. it kinda pisses me off. in fact, i tend to see a guy i find attractive, and get really annoyed. like, fuck you for being so good looking that you'll never look my way. bastards!
and of course, we all know my history- cute guys at work? my weakness. so i told myself- do. not. talk. to. cute. guys. at. work.
don't crush. don't even think about crushing!

there's a guy in the music department. tall. brown hair. a beard. (open letter to the men of NYC, the beards are working. please shave them so that i won't like you all so damn much) i saw him once, then again while on break. and then? i heard Patty Griffin on the in-store play. i had to stop and wonder why there was just one song of hers on- "The Rowing Song". so, when i went downstairs to punch out for the day, happy & excited about meeting up with Lily, X+J for dinner at the Hollywood Diner, I was going to stop into music and ask the one music person I've met (Mr. Fabulous C.) what cd we had that was teasing me with a Patty song, and leaving me disappointed. I went into music, and while the Fabulous Mr. C. was there, so was cute- gorgeous- music guy. guess who i gravitated towards? and as should be expected, i instantly fly my dork flag boldly- finding out that it's a Putumayo folk collection & saying that it's not right that they're playing ONE Patty song because it makes me have to hear more, more, more. GMGuy says "yeah, that's the point! i'll be sure to let the Putumayo people know." which, is exactly the sort of answer I would have given someone who said something this lame to me when I was back in the music dept. in Miami. Like, yeah... don't talk to me about the in-store plays, I'm not a DJ. I say "yeah, consider this my official complaint" and he's like "noted." And then I walk out of the music department, into the break room, out of the building, get on my phone and call Lily to tell her that I am... an ass. It's funny- I *JUST* finished reading SUPERSTUD by Paul Feig the previous day... did I learn NOTHING from the book? Did it not remind me of myself everytime he would say something that was so wrong/embarrassing? Apparently, I don't learn. Let's face it, kids... I'm a dork. A dork who can never go into the music department again.

part two. Lily rides into the city with me yesterday. I suggest that while she's there, she go to Circuit City and pick up the new Bruce dvd she's obsessed with. She thinks this is a good idea. Moments later, she comes upstairs to tell me that we have it at Barnes for a good price & asks me to pick it up for her. I agree. It's not until I go downstairs for my break and see GMGuy standing in his section that I realize what picking up this dvd for Lily entails. Luckily, I found the dvd without having to ask him where it was, because I'm sure I would have said something else worthy of sticking my foot in my mouth.

anyway. in other news- i really like my job. i like the people on the floor I work on and *most* of them *seem* to like me, too. which is good. there's one girl who kind of always seems to be looking at me like- i can't believe what a dork you are. which is ok, because i'm a geek and this is alright. i still haven't spent much time in Union Square despite the fact that it's right across the street from the store. I keep meaning to go there during my break... I mean, come ON why stay in the break room? Especially now that I will have to turtle into my shirt whenever the GMGuy enters. And that's the last you're going to see me say about that.

so great to have Lily here at last! It feels like everything is now complete. AND bonus- we have achieved Gilliane! Yes, Gilliane is now in the city! We're collecting people... it's insane that we're all here. and that there are more of us on the way. Insane in a really great way.

um. i'm tired of typing. so... later.

rick
who will not even *mention* the beautiful, REALLY tall guy in the café who is named... are you ready for it? it should come as no surprise at all... Matt.

listening to: Joni Mitchell: Ladies of the Canyon (quote in the title is from "Willy")
reading: You Shall Know Our Velocity! by Dave Eggars
dvd player: still trying to finish the US "Cracker"...