it's not meant to be a strife/it's not meant to be a struggle uphill

you're trying too hard
surrender
give yourself in
you're trying too hard
it's not meant to be a strife
it's not meant to be a struggle uphill
undo
if you're bleeding
undo
if you're sweating
undo
if you're crying
darling
undo
undo.

No touching! NO TOUCHING!!

HOLY SHIT, LILY!! "NO ESCAPE" WITH RAY LIOTTA IS ON TV RIGHT NOW!!!!

_____Favorites_____

1. Gum: None really. Bubble Yum?
2. Restaurant: Currently Pizza Paradise on 18th between 5th & 6th. Previously? The Ale House. oh i miss the Ale House.
3. Drink: i'm a pepper. wouldn't you like to be a pepper too?
4. Season: Autumn!
5. Type of weather: A little gray & windy is okay.
8. Late-night activity: watchin' dvds. tribe.netting.
9. Sport: Walking from the Union Square Station to work on the days that the market is open without knocking anyone over or getting to work late.
10. Movie: lately I'm thinking Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. possibly Love Actually. traditionally, CLUE or Eve's Bayou.
11. Clothing Store: I'm so fucking dull- Old Navy.

_______When was the last time you_______

12. Cried: Yesterday morning on the phone with my mom worrying that I might have to move back home because I cannot afford this wonderful life goddammit.
13. Played a sport: Let's see... 10th grade. 1989.
14. Laughed: Watching I Love the 80s with Lily & J. Not to mention the non-stop laughter invoked by ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT, which Lily and I devoured in like 3 days.
15. Hugged someone: The wonderful, sweet Pia- last night.
16. Kissed someone: That would be last Friday night.
17. Felt depressed: Are you fucking kidding? I've been depressed for a month. I'm depressed right now.
18. Felt overworked: Maybe a tiny bit. Felt frustrated that I'm working more hours than I was hired for thanks to my awesome manager for giving me an extra day every week, but still not making enough to cover my bullshit credit card payments. Hence, Credit Cards=Evil.
19. Faked sick: I don't remember. I called out today. But I wasn't faking.
...cuz they didn't pry. I might have had to & was pondering what the better excuse would be. A: Margaret Cho gave me mono! (FALSE: I didn't even get to see the event. Although I did see her coming down the escalator. I waved enthusiastically until I realized that she wasn't looking at me, but at some books in front of her. *sigh*) or B: I'm allergic to maple syrup & there's something in the air. I could die. (Also FALSE: I enjoy syrup quite a lot & think the weird city smell is scrumptious) or C: I'm really depressed and have to stay in bed all day watching television or I will not be able to prevent myself from getting on a train and sitting on it all day with my ipod in a heap of tears. (TRUE)

___What was the last_______

21. Word(s) you said: "What the fuck?!?" Which is what I said when I saw this crazy promo for LOST: http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2682005
22. Thing you ate: I made mozzarella sticks (they were okay) and Lily made Lime Chicken/Yellow Rice (oh. my. god. the rice...) and corn.
23. Song you listened to: The Sundays- "Here's Where the Story Ends"
24. Last thing you drank: A glass of Pepsi.
25. Place you went to: Work & then the Hollywood Diner yesterday.
26. Movie you saw: Elizabethtown. Orlando Bloom is very pretty. He should be a model. Not one who acts. Or tries.
27. Movie you rented: Amityville Horror (the Ryan Reynolds version- purrrrrr!) Next on the queue is The Worst Witch! ...which will of course not arrive until after Halloween.

_______Who was the last person you_______

28. Hugged: Pia. Didn't I answer this already?
29. Cried over: Myself. I'm very self centered.
30. Instant message: Matty FINALLY was online at the same time as me the other day- AND I HAD MY AWAY MESSAGE ON BECAUSE I WAS EATING!!!!! And he was gone when I got back. So... Matty. Kinda.
31. Danced with: I don't fucking dance. (Okay it was like 5 years ago or something- it was with Alina & Co. at some fucking club in Coconut Grove. It was "Blister in the Sun" and I'm still redfaced with embarassment)
32. Shared a secret with: Lily. Or my mom.
33. Had a sleepover with: Every night is a sleepover, here.
34. Went to a movie with: Lily. Who liked Elizabethtown more than I did. And thought Orlando did a decent job.
35. Saw: Lily. Before she went to bed & I locked myself in my room for the night.
36. Were angry with: 17 year old chick at work, no doubt.
37. Can't take your eyes off: Still that fucking café hottie. I kind of hate myself for still looking.

_______Have you ever_______

40. Danced in the rain: Yes, to seduce Joaquin Phoenix into killing my husband for me. Wait, that wasn't me. That was Nicole Kidman in To Die For. nevermind.
41. Been on a rollercoaster: Yes. But not in at least 8 years. :(
42. Done Drugs: Like I'm not fucked up enough?
43. Drank alcohol: Last Friday night- it was wine.
44. Partied 'til the sun came up: Um, no thanks. i'd rather sleep.
45. Had a movie marathon: Was SUPPOSED to have one with Lily, Gill & J. - a NY marathon consisting of Breakfast at Tiffany's, When Harry Met Sally, Ghostbusters, and/or Annie Hall. However, we ended up looking for video footage of Sam The World's Ugliest Dog instead and before you knew it, 2 AM was there. So I guess the last time I had a movie marathon was on my own- one of my many Carole Lombard Will Cheer Me Up nights.
46. Gone too far on a dare: 10th grade.
47. Spun around till you got dizzy: Spinning on that dizzy edge/I kissed her face, I kissed her head/Dreamed of all the different ways I had to make her glow... Umm... back in Miami on the spinning computer chair at our house. Good times.

_______My life_______

48. School you go to: School of Hard Knocks
49. Name: Rick
50. Gender: Male
52. Gay: Yeah. Only not SUPER gay like that Jay guy on America's Next Top Model. Although, clearly gay enough to watch America's Top Model.
53. Nationality: American
54. State or province you live in: New York. we'll see.

_______Play_______

55. I'm feeling: Tired.
56. I'm listening to: The sound of waves crashing... on the menu screen from LOST (just finished disc 5! 4 episodes left!!)
57. I'm doing: um. another random survey. sitting on my bed. praying for some miracles.
58. I'm talking to: nobody.
59. I'm craving: well, i'm awake so clearly I'm craving pizza.
61. I'm hating: er... myself, my life, my indecisiveness, those fucking neo nazi twin motherfuckers. oddly the one thing that i'm really not hating? my job. it's an interesting twist.

_______Love_______

62. Love is: like a butterfly. Well, that's what Dolly said and if Dolly said it, it's true. Er, love is... currently a non-issue. not interested... which is good because it ain't in the cards.
63. My first love: was a straight crackhead with ADD. i make good choices.
65. Love or lust: fuck 'em both. i don't have the energy. or the time. i have a whole season of Gilmore Girls on dvd that i haven't even STARTED.
66. Best love song: Holly Palmer- "Come Lie with Me"
67. Two "loves" at the same time: Is it... a dwarf?
68. When does love hurt: Love scars. Love wounds. And... something else. Bars? I dunno. Love hurts when you're the only one in it, kids.
69. Are you in love: No. I've shaken it off rather successfully and am ready to face the world with a big fat closed heart so that it can stop kicking the shit out of me!! if you need me, i'll be in my room with my headphones on watching a dvd and answering online surveys. See you around meal times.

_______Opposite/same sex_______

70. Turn ons: a sense of humor. oh yeah and Nathan Fillion's ass. do you have that? no? see ya.
71. Turn offs: other human beings, apparently. bad (or different) taste in music or movies.
72. Do your parent's opinion on your gf/bf matter to you? yes. but this is a non-issue, yeah?
73. Hairstyle you are into: am i into a hairstyle? no. not that gay. but no gel=good.
74. What is the sweetest thing "they" can do?: speak to me... or pay my rent.
75. Where do you go to meet new people: Barnes & Noble. like everyone else... heh heh heh.
76. Are you the type of person to give and ask for numbers? not so much.

_____Picky Picky_______

77. Dog or cat: cat
78. Short or long hair: i just let it grow long till it pisses me off. then i cut it supershort and start again. wait- on others? not too long. not too short. are you Nathan Fillion? Then nevermind.
79. Sunshine or rain: Rain. unless i have to go somewhere. my umbrella is a piece of shit.
80. Hugs or kisses: hugs. hershey's kisses are best because they don't involve human contact.
81. Xbox or PS2: PS2. I guess. whatever. I don't play video games much. I like Silent Hill.
83. Cars or motorcycles: oh my god i don't fucking care!!!
84. Coke or Pepsi: Coke Coke Coke
85. House party or club: MY house. My room. ALONE.
86. Sing or dance: sing. as long as no one else is home.
87. Freak or slow dance: No.

_______Lately_______

88. How are you today? I guess you can tell... I'm kind of fucking moody.
89. What pants are you wearing now? My pajama pants.
90. What shirt are you wearing right now?: The comfy shirt I sleep in. Under another shirt. Yeah, this morning not only did I call out from work because I'm a sad sorry sack, but I couldn't be bothered to dress properly & wore my pajamas all day. bite me.
91. Your hair at the moment: Yeah, it's still there. It's a mess. I didn't shower either. You wanna fight??
92. What song are you listening to right now?: no song.
93. How is the weather right now? I don't have the foggiest clue.
94. Who are you talking to on the phone?: your mom. oops! sorry, Lily doesn't like "your mom" jokes. So... er, My ass.
95. Last dream you can remember?: Dave and I were shooting a scene for some movie. It involved a lot of running around my dad's yard. I was very out of breath and kind of annoyed with Dave for some reason. *shrug*

------------------Your Style------------

96. Clothes: Comfort Before Style.
98. Shoes: See above.
99. Food: My style of food? Um. cooked? Fried. Pizzaesque. Mmmph. I'm sorry I did this one.

sweet sweet sweet wind/burn off this skin...i can never win/in this body i live in

Is it the sweet smell of success?? The City has been confounded by the mystery of this smell... I noticed it last night while walking from the Diner back to Union Square. I thought I was just crazy, but apparently it's not just me!!

http://www.nynewsday.com/news/local/manhattan/nyc-air1028,0,861248.story?coll=nyc-homepage-breaking2

http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=local&id=3583493

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/10/28/AR2005102800620.html

You kicked Checkers, you're prejudice AND you have a potty mouth!

"Alice and I wanted to have a name that was exotic and American and which stood for something good, because our son is exotic and he's American and we both think he's good. But having said that, I always liked the sound of the name. It has kind of a magical ring to it: Abracadabra Kal-El Shazam!" -Nic Cage on choosing to name his newborn son Kal-El.
Yeah. You're a fucking idiot.

Having said that, I owe an apology to someone.

I'M SORRY, KIRSTEN DUNST!
It was HER fault (pointing to Lily's room)
I'm taking a stand. I like Kirsten Dunst. I don't care who knows it. Why am I blogging about it for the whole world to see? Because her celebrity playlist is so fucking cool. Patty Griffin, kids. AND Joni Mitchell. Cyndi Lauper... I've thought highly of her since the giant one-two that was Interview with the Vampire/Little Women back in 94ish. Amazingly talented kid, right? I love the hysterical "Drop Dead Gorgeous" and "Dick" -featuring hot hot hottie Ryan Reynolds, let us not forget, and the source of today's title quote. Even her work in my favorite movie (one of 'em) Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is excellent. EXCELLENT. Dammit, I like the girl! We won't get into the details of why/how I let myself get turned against her, but let's say that it was someone I live with who has had it out for Dunst since the very beginning and is letting a 12 year old quote (from a CHILD, remember- and who among us didn't say something retarded when we were children?) poison her mind against an actress who's actually pretty good (I'm not saying she's fucking great dude!).
So let it be known: From this point on the only person that *I* will be calling a snaggle-toothed bra-less wonder will be Jewel Kilcher and the only negative feelings I may have towards Kirsten will be due to the fact that: JAKE. *sigh* I know why I'm giving up men, now... because I'll never have Jake or Christian Bale. And seriously if you can't have either of them who the fuck cares?
When can we see Elizabethtown??

Rick
who still thinks that Orlando Bloom is a very pretty tosser.

listening to: The Sundays- "here's where the story ends" (Thanks for reminding me, Kirsten! Let's be best friends!!)
ready to watch: Either the last 7 eps of LOST on dvd or the last disc of ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT: 2 with Lily. If she's still speaking to me after my shocking revelations of Kirsten fandom. Or hey, maybe I'll watch WIMBLEDON!!
been reading: Michael Cunningham's Specimen Days (I also read Audrey Niffenegger's visual novel, Three Incestuous Sisters- look for my review for that as well as the Brendan Benson cd "Alternative to Love" on www.picturesandframesmagazine.com sometime during the first week of November! Oh... You know I'll remind you... just like I'll keep reminding everyone about my amazon.com wishlist until both my birthday and Christmas have passed...) I think my next read will be Time Traveler's Wife again. I'd like to read about a love so amazing that it could never possibly exist. :P

another bullshit day in suck city.

not really. just like that quote- it's the title of a novel.
um... rainy day. long. sleepy because i didn't get home last night till like 3:30 or so. saw Washington Square Park today because the train I take was going to skip my stop. I got off one stop early & walked the rest of the way, surprising myself by being in the park & seeing the famous arch.


yeah i tend to geek out & take pictures of things with my camera phone when i see something exciting.
so the roommates got all IKEA yesterday, right? and now they're busy building chairs while Pretty Woman plays on tv and the scene in the fancy restaurant played- when Julia's like -which fork do i use?? and the old guy's like -i never know which one to use either! and i realize that i wrote a bit in "birdwatching" that is far too similar. so now i feel like i just bit off Richard Curtis movies and Pretty Woman and that the story is going to have to stay hidden FOREVER! and i suck.

ok that's it for me. i'm off tomorrow, with high hopes of visiting Prospect Park & hopefully the famous DiFara's pizza!
-rick

and one more for the road

1. How old are you? 31. 32 on December 12th! Everyone remember to check out the old amazon wish list!! (do you see the theme? I'm poor and tired and need material things to make me happy dammit!!)

2. Do you own a gun? No. "He doesn't believe in guns. He goes on marches."

3. Rehab? for WHAT? I hardly ever drink & never do drugs.

4. Have you ever killed an animal? No. Well, bugs.

5. Are you Irish? No. Well, probably somewhere down the line

6. What do you think of hotdogs? They kind of make me gag.

7. What's your favorite Christmas song? Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. (yeah, there's a shocker, even my favorite Christmas song is melancholy!!)

8. What is your favorite sound(s)? I love the sound of a river running. I never get to hear it... but...

9. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Chocolate milk!

10. Do you do push-ups? Um. no.

11. Have you ever done ecstasy? Nope.

12. Have you been shot? Who am I 50 Cent? No.

13. Have you ever been hospitalized? I've been to the ER, but that's it.

14. Do you like painkillers? I do remember enjoying painkillers, but not in a recreational way.

15. What is your secret weapon to lure in the same sex? I'll let you know when I figure out.

16. Do you own a knife? Like a butter knife? Yeah.

17. Do you have A.D.D? No. But I used to have a massive crush on a straight guy with ADD & a drug problem.

18. Do you love the pain a tattoo brings? Err... whatever. I have no tats.

19. Name Five Drinks You Regularly Drink: Chocolate Milk/Dr. Pepper/Water/Kool-Aid/Diet Pepsi- with Lime!!

20. What's in your CD Player? Bettye Lavette/I've Got My Own Hell to Raise

21. What's under your bed? nothing. I have only a mattress.

22. Current Hair? probably a bit of a mess, but I don't really care at this point.

23. What are you wearing? Jeans & a long sleeved blue shirt. I'm comfy. For the next half hour till I have to dress for work :(

24. Current Worry? Paying my bills.

25. Current Love? Arrested Development is like the one thing that makes me smile for more than a couple minutes at a time. it's like 30 minutes of sustained happiness.

26. Current Hate? Feeling that I might have to get another job to pay bills. And a certain 17 year old.

27. Favorite Place To Be? My room, cozy, watchin' movies.

28. Least Favorite Place To Be? Hmmm... the grocery store isn't thrilling.

29. If You Could Play any Instrument? Piano. *sigh*

30. Favorite Color(s)? Blue. Like the Joni Mitchell album...

31. Person(s) From Your Past You Wish You Could see again? I wouldn't mind seeing Matt. I feel the need to apologize. Otherwise, Kristi P from high school

32. Where Would You Like To Go To College? Dude. I'm over that.

33. Where Do you want to live? I *Heart* NYC. I would like it more if my family was closer.

34. Favorite food? 'za.

36. Number of pillows you sleep with? 2. One has a name. I can't say it here.

37. What do you wear when you go to sleep? comfy shirt, pj pants

38. What were you doing 12AM last night? Um. *blush* I'm pleading the fifth on this one. my sex life is nobody's business. *doh!*

39. What do you think you'll be doing in 10 years? I can honestly say I have NO FUCKING idea. i never would have expected to be living in NYC, so who knows where I'll be. Okay I'll make something up. In 10 years I think I'll be doing Jake Gyllenhaal.

40. Are you paranoid? Not particularly. Sometimes, when I'm convinced that like- everyone fucking hates me. even my friends, secretly.

41. First piercing/tattoo? No thanks.

42. Last person you yelled at? I don't really yell. In my head I've yelled at people. I yelled at Lily in my head this week to tell her that she was crazy when she kept walking to the end of the ticket line on Monday.

44. Last thing you ate? A waffle. at like 4 in the morning.

45. If you could be a pirate, would you? I would be one eyed willy! um. sure.

46. Do you have an iPod? Yep. It's got a Nick Hornby quote engraved on the back, a line from HIGH FIDELITY: "What came first? The music or the misery?"

47. When and why and where did you last vomit? I can't remember the last time I vomited. Seriously, I have no recollection.

48. What's in your pockets right now? Absolutely nothing.

49. What color are your walls? Rosemary's Baby yellow. PLEASE SEND THE FAB FIVE TO COME FIX MY ROOM!!!

50. last thing that made you laugh? Um, being slightly drunk & trying to carry on a conversation with X+J at 3:30 this morning was kind of funny. Probably funnier for them.

51. Any pets? Nope. :(

52. Do you have any piercings? NO isn't this like the third time you've asked!? Who are you anyway?!?!

53. If you were a crayon what color would you be? Stupid fucking question, Barbara Walters.

54. Have you ever won any awards? Yeah, I won an award for a poem I wrote in high school. It's kind of a shitty poem, btw.

55. How many TV's do you have in your house? There are 3 in the house, one is mine.

56. Have you ever sprained/broken/fractured a bone or gotten stitches? I've had stitches. The day after my high school graduation I had to get stitches. Fun.

58. Who do you tell your dreams to? Whoever is around. Whoever I think will laugh the most. I live to entertain, people.

59. If you could pick one person to make out with who would it be? Matt Keeslar.

60. What do you think of the person who posted this before you? This was posted on myspace by a kid called Frank, who randomly added me when I was one of Myspace's "cool new people". I'm sure he's disappointed.

scaramouche, scaramouche can you do the fandango?

1. ARE YOU OVER 18? quite a bit over 18.

2. WHAT IS THE WALLPAPER ON YOUR CELLPHONE? Sufjan Stevens, oddly enough. (AKA CHIFFON!)

3. DID YOU GET ENOUGH SLEEP LAST NIGHT? Absolutely not.

4. FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THIS MORNING WHEN YOU WOKE UP? I should go back to sleep, but then who would open the door for our landlady & the heating guy?

5. WHAT DO YOU HAVE HANDY AT YOUR BEDSIDE? remote controls, usually a glass of water.

7. GRILLED OR FRIED? one of my all-time biggest crushes (and i mean that literally as well) once joked that if I could, I'd drink fried coke.

8. WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE? soooo many things. and they're not all good.

9. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK? nope. in fact, my room can't get dark enough :(

10. FAVORITE HANGOUT? the benches in front of the Lincoln statue at Union Square Park.

11. 3 THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT? My family, music, SLEEP

12. FIRST THING YOU WILL BUY IF GIVEN 2 THOUSAND DOLLARS? wow, responsibility has creeped in, because all i could think of was that if i got 2 grand, I'd be putting it towards paying off some credit cards. In an imaginary world where i have no such responsibilities, though- A kickass widescreen flat tv.

13. FAVORITE SONGS WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPING? I love to fall asleep listening to Björk's album "Vespertine"

14. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? That scary tall grey robe wearing creature I saw walking down Wall Street this week. Also, I think I'm more afraid of hurricanes when I'm not in Miami, but my family is.

15. ARE YOU A GIVER OR TAKER? i'm a giver.

16. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? um. Rick? Well, my mom sometimes calls me Rico or Bud. Lily calls me Horatio (?!?). Crazyhedwin calls me Rikki. The cute guy I used to work with, Xavier, called me Red at first, due to the red hair. He also sang Patty Griffin songs to me. Well, not TO me, but... near me. It won my heart for what it's worth.

17. MOST RECENT MOVIE THAT YOU WATCHED? Wow, that would be AMITYVILLE, which I watched last Saturday night with X+J. The only thing I've watched since then has been LOST which I will never be able to finish watching on dvd!!!! which blows because now there's a whole new season of ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT to see!

20. STUCK ON A DESERTED ISLAND & COULD HAVE ONLY ONE KIND OF FOOD FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Clearly, pizza. Oh, wait- I'm already eating pizza for the rest of my life.

21. FAVORITE T.V. COMMERCIAL? I love the Levi's commercial when the guy's brought to the emergency room and the monitor plays "tainted love". I also liked that sort of homoerotic insurance one I saw one time in Miami with the naked guy in the cowboy hat.

23. FIRST THING YOU'LL SAVE IN A FIRE? My ass! Um. assuming that Lily, X+J are already making it out okay? My Complete Ella Fitzgerald Song Books box set. It's a treasure.

24. YOUR EYE COLOR? Blue. ish. gray.

26. WHAT DID YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? A superstar!! A singer...

27. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY DO WHEN THE CLOCK TURNS 7 AM? I'm truthfully NEVER awake at 7 AM.

28. THE COLOR OF YOUR BEDSHEET? Blue, with celestial designs.

29. WHO DO U WANT TO MEET? Julianne Moore.

30. HOW'S LIFE TODAY? It's pretty good, I just need some more rest. Sadly, I have to work soon, so rest is not gonna happen.

my name is blossom i was raised in a lion's den...

Okay new Birthday plan... Maybe rather than seeing Sinéad or Cyndi... I just found out that Blossom Dearie plays in NYC on the weekends! She's on hiatus now, but returns December 3rd- a week before my birthday. And plays on Sunday the 11th- the day before my birthday (for those of you playing at home: December 12th I'll be 32. I have a wishlist on Amazon- click the link in the title of this post. I recommend viewing it sorted by Priority. Remember how much you love me & how lonely & broke I'll be this holiday season! I also wouldn't say no to a digital camera or a framed ALL ABOUT MY MOTHER poster- which they sell at this Movie shop on 18th street between 7th & 6th. Just a heads up.)

Back to Blossom: http://www.blossomsplanet.com/
She plays this place- it's like a steakhouse -er, dinner club- kinda thing. And and and... She's BLOSSOM!! And I wanna see her. But the menu isn't very appetizing. But I'd go for the filet mignon. So, yeah it might be expensive. So maybe not. But I kinda want to see her more than Sinéad and Cyndi!! I mean... IT'S BLOSSOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She has a funny voice like Billie Holiday or Jimmy Scott or... me.

In other news please all sample the Bettye Lavette album "I've Got My Own Hell To Raise". Bettye is an R&B singer who has just recorded this album with all these amazing covers on it- Sinéad's "I Do Not Want What I Haven't Got", Dolly's "Little Sparrow", Aimee's "How Am I Different?" (best track on the album!) and Fiona's "Sleep to Dream". It's got an awesome funky blues sound and her voice... actually it kind of reminds me of Jimmy Scott's voice, which is kinda weird because it's actually nothing like it, although they both have this beautifully sad kind of mournful quality (yes, of course I like it- beautifully sad? that's my taste, bingo) Hmmm... Look, just go to itunes & try the song- I recommend the Aimee, but I know you all love Fiona. I think it's awesome, but I know that everyone isn't as crazy about that kinda bluesy jazzy stuff as I am. Because you're all racist. Even though you've been trying to shag a black guy for the last few weeks. That one.

rick
hasn't mentioned how much he loves EXTRAS yet, has he?
and apologizes for the post that disappeared. one should never blog while so emotionally distressed. remember how i said i was thinking about starting a journal, because some things should be kept to oneself? yeah. sorry if anyone read it and was unduly upset/worried/disturbed. it's all good. well... kinda.

and nobody in all of Oz/no wizard that there is or was/is ever gonna bring me down!

EXCELLENT day.
Original intentions for today:
1. Wake up around 8ish.
2. Do laundry.
3. Go to Foodtown for groceries.
4. Watch dvds.

What happened was:
I woke up at like 11:30. I was confused, thinking today was Daylight Savings day. I let myself believe that I'm not such a HUGE slacker, because in truth I had only slept until 10:30! I was wrong.
I heard the "Bright & Shiny" song playing out in the living room- BUBBLE BOY WAS ON!! I got happy and got out of bed. Checked e-mail, etc. Then, a phone call from Gill- asking me what my plans for the day were. I tell her- laundry/foodtown. She's like- oh, because I have an extra ticket to Wicked- I flip out and ask her if she's serious 5 to 6x, tell her that i'm peeing in my pants, etc. It's at 3:00. I jump out of bed and get dressed, meet her at a Starbuck's near the theatre... and... I SAW WICKED! I'm so psyched! I really had given up the hope of even getting to see a show because they're so fucking expensive. And let me tell you, despite the fact that I wasn't really impressed with the show when I heard the cast album (Kristin & Idina are awesome, and I love them both- I LOVE "Defying Gravity", but was kinda bleh about it), I really loved the show itself. Plus? Rue McClanahan. (Although no Ben Vereen, much to Gil's dismay)

So I need to see more theatre. How? How can I do this? And we came up with the perfect solution. I'm going to have to post a listing on Craigslist- Young Gay Man Seeking Theatre Lover. Like, hey do you have tickets to shows? I can go with you!! Granted there are probably not any listings for that sort of thing. And if so they probably require some kinda 'tit for tat'. But I don't know, I'm willing to go far to see Sweeney Todd... But I'm only like... 26% serious. It honestly sucks that I'm here in the best place for theatre, and can absolutely not afford to spend half a week's paycheck (more than half!) to see these great shows. It actually would depress me if I thought about it anymore, so I won't. I will simply bask in the joy of having seen a show. SO big thanks & love to Gil- who I WILL be treating to dinner sometime soon.

PLUS as an added bonus, I got home in time to do half my laundry (the work clothes & underwear bits) AND swing by the grocery store for important bread/chocolate syrup/soda needs (I also meant to get some cheezits as I basically ate both boxes mostly on my own & felt really really bad for being the pig room mate who eats all the cheezits.)

sooooo. :) great day. GREAT great day.
and the scary clown freaks me out still. the memory lingers....

rick
watching Grey's Anatomy.
going to finish ANANSI BOYS tonight. what shall i read next?!?

and dance by the light of the moon...

i highly suggest that everyone on the planet go check out http://angryalien.com immediately. it's the best thing ever. and i know that in the past 24 hours i've said that about:
J's Brownies (with frosting & chocolate mint sprinkles!)
Several things on the Pottery Barn website.
The board game CLUE.
The voodoo knife holder that X showed me.
The ipod (but not the video ipod- what's the point of watching something that small?)
The film BUBBLE BOY.
however, this really IS the best thing ever- classic movies re-enacted by animated bunnies in 30 seconds. I think my favorite is IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE, although the EXORCIST had me laughing tremendously in that special "there's milk exploding from my nose!" kinda way. Although there wasn't really milk involved. I'm out of chocolate syrup. Which I will rectify today, now that I have the money to grocery shop.
in other news did I mention that I got asked out twice this week? maybe i've finally eaten enough shit for my good karma to come back around... also, big important question: Is today Daylight Savings day? Like, are we supposed to fall back? Or is that next week? Because I'd really like to pretend that I got up at 10:30 rather than 11:30 on my day off. lazy bastard.

ok. you go STRAIGHT to http://angryalien.com RIGHT NOW or else... or else, I don't know if I can be your friend anymore, to be honest.

rick
vaguely wondering if that's wind outside, or rain. probably rain as I have to do laundry today. "stupid, stupid rain..." (will anyone get that? i doubt it. no one got my AbFab "is it a dwarf?" reference, either. i should start quoting like... Terminator or Friday or something else.)

p.s. you rock my world

forgot to mention- Pictures/Frames has been updated! Um... I'm a slacker and haven't contributed anything new (although my BIRTH review is still up on the dvd page). However, it's not all about me!! Dave wrote about John Cassavetes, Crazy Edwin reviews Fiona Apple's EXTRAORDINARY MACHINE, Lily gives FIREFLY the love and J-M tells you why you have to see SERENITY. So go check it out now, bastards! http://picturesandframesmagazine.com

btw- Lily is still looking for contributors- so you if you're interested drop me a line & I'll hook you up.
rick
feeling a bit thrown by this strange, strange day
watching LOST on dvd
listening to Dar Williams/My Better Self
waiting for more words from Z.
vowing to blog more, not just post surveys!

i'm the cult of personality. the cult of personality.

Twelve To One. (how could i resist this one when my birthday is 12/12?)

TWELVE RANDOM THINGS I LIKE:
1. walking down 6th avenue on Sunday afternoons.
2. when you first get into bed and the sheets are really cool.
3. seeing babies smile.
4. sitting in Union Square reading and eating a Hershey's bar.
5. British television.
6. when Lily, X+J and I are all in the flat together laughing over random shit.
7. getting e-mail!
8. when someone at work asks for something that I like a lot.
9. chewable orange flavored vitamins.
10. looking at craigslist for the missed connections.
11. people playing music in the subway stations- especially when it's something unexpected like a tuba or bluegrass.
12. candy corn!!

ELEVEN BANDS/ARTISTS THAT ARE WORTH LISTENING TO:
1. Bic Runga
2. Aimee Mann
3. Indigo Girls
4. Travis
5. Holly Palmer
6. Björk
7. Kylie (of course)
8. Ben Folds
9. Patty Griffin
10. Rufus Wainwright
11. Ella Fitzgerald (especially with Louis Armstrong)


TEN MOVIES I'D WATCH MORE THAN ONCE:
1. Charade
2. Rope
3. Serenity!
4. Proof
5. Clue
6. Birth
7. Bad Education
8. Almost Famous
9. My Man Godfrey
10. Bringing Up Baby

NINE PHYSICAL FACTS ABOUT ME:
1. I don't like my toes.
2. I've dropped 2 pant sizes since February!
3. I always used to dye my hair because i thought it was a boring color, but haven't in like a year & I actually like my natural color again.
4. I have a scar on my left ankle.
5. I used to be quite tan, but no more.
6. My nose gets cold in this weather.
7. I think I have a decent butt.
8. my stomach grumbles often. even after i've eaten. it's kind of embarrassing, especially when i'm in the break room at work.
9. i have a bit of a beard now because i lost the trimmer part of my shaver when I moved, so it's either completely shaven, or this.

EIGHT THINGS I COULD EAT/DRINK FOREVER
1. Korner Pizza!
2. the mozzarella sticks at the Hollywood Diner
3. that chicken dish I get at PF Chang's.
4. Cheesecake Factory.
5. my Granny's breakfasts.
6. Dave's chicken parmigan
7. mom's pancakes & bacon
8. Cozy's Burgers!!

SEVEN WAYS TO WIN MY HEART:
1. kindness
2. humor
3. warmth
4. patience
5. lovely dinners!
6. lazing about on cold nights
7. chocolate... :)

SIX THINGS I STRONGLY DISLIKE
1. people who wear sunglasses indoors. especially big Bono as the Fly glasses. except for Bono.
2. customers sitting on the floor at work. especially if they are making out, shoeless, and/or spread out over the entire aisle.
3. macaroni and cheese
4. wet socks! is anything worse?
5. new age music.
6. cold french fries.

FIVE TELEVISION SHOWS I WATCH:
1. Six Feet Under (ok i just saw season 4 & didn't see any of season 5 yet, but it's the Best TV Show Ever)
2. Lost
3. Gilmore Girls
4. Arrested Development
5. Family Guy

FOUR PLACES I WANT TO VISIT:
1. England
2. Seattle
3. Japan
4. France

THREE THINGS I AM DEATHLY AFRAID OF:
1. heights/flying!
2. the terrorists. especially when riding a subway under Orange Alert
3. having to move back to Miami...

TWO PEOPLE I LOOK UP TO:
1. Ian McKellen
2. this is going to sound so "i want to be the next miss america because..." but Martin Luther King, jr.

ONE THING I COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT:
1. Music.

"Take that, Rachel Yamagata!" -CrazyhEdwin

1) Do you have a cell phone? Yes- despite proclaiming that I would never never NEVER have one.

2) Do you like boots? Like a fetish o something? Nope. I did have a pair of docs... but they're in Miami.

3) Do you have a cat? No. BOTH the cats I had as a child were given away by my parents because they didn't like my brother. That is, the cats didn't, not my parents, who obviously like my brother since they chose him over my cats.

4) Have you ever gone bungee jumping? "Hell to the no!"

5) Do you wear fake pearls? No. and I won't even make the obvious joke about pearl necklaces.

6) Have you ever shoplifted? Again, no. SHOPLIFTING NATION!!

7) Have you ever stole candy from the candy shop? Nope. Did the Lady Chablis write this?

8) Do you live in an apartment? Yes. Kind of.

9) Have you ever stayed up all night? Yep- last night, actually. I slept between 7:45-12:15 today. go me.

10) Do you like little kids? No, quite the contrary, I hate little kids. Hate with a capital "F".

11) Do you take pictures of people's toes? "Toes!!" ....no. i don't do feet.

12) True or false: you have a sister named Mackenzie. Who am I, Chynna Phillips? False.

13) Do you like to perform? Yeah, sort of.

14) Have you ever been to Chicago? Ah, yes- the windy city! um. no.

15) Does your mom know you have a MYSPACE? Yep.

16) Does your mom HAVE a myspace? Nope.

17) Have you ever cut yourself (on purpose)? Not exactly. I'm a banger, not a cutter.

18) Are you famous in your own little world? Yes. Yes, I am.

19) Have you ever met a celebrity? Yes. And recently spotted Mr. Big himself in my store. I controlled myself, though.

20) Do you like Hilary Duff? No, what am I, a 10 year old girl?

21) Do you like to take pictures of yourself? No, but it's like having a cellphone- I don't like it, but I do it.

22) Why are you taking this survey? I don't know, it's a very strong compulsion to go on and on about myself.

23) Do you like oversized sunglasses? No. I fucking hate people who wear them, too. Especially inside. I want to kick them.

24) Do you like Paris Hilton? EVERYBODY knows this one. I think she's the perfect example of what's wrong with the world today. "paris hilton, paris hilton- stupid whore!"

25) Do you play with bubbles? I love blowing... bubbles. (yeah, i could've gone with some weird "bubble butt" joke, but that's too graphic, better to make a Dracula reference that's only slightly dirty)

26) Are you a redhead? No. But I HAVE been.

27) How many uncles do you have? three. And none of them are Bob, thank you very much.

28) What kind of computer do you have? it's an ibook. and it's just the best most cutest computer ever made! aren't you? AREN'T YOU!!

29.) Are you superstitious? I try not to be, but when I walk under a ladder or something, I do think "oh shit!"

30) Do you read the dictionary for fun? no, but your mom does.

31) Do you shop at Hollister? I don't know what that is.

32) Have you ever worn fishnet tights? No, but if I did I could be Black Canary for Halloween!

33) Have you ever been called a loser? Yes. Usually by myself in e-mails to Matty and/or Lily.

34) Do you have an iPod? Yes. It is my best friend, my companion, my one true thing. It's on right now, playing some Tracy Chapman- "All That You Have Is Your Soul"

35) Are you a skater? No. I used to be a rollerskater. Which is not as cool.

36) Do you think spelling "skater boy" like "Sk8er boi" is cool or weird? I think retarded should be an option. And I think April Levine (shut up, I know, I know) ought to be muzzled.

37) Do you like Britney Spears? No. but not as much as I don't like Paris Hilton.

38) Have you ever had an eating disorder? ummm. probably.

39) Have you ever been to Israel? No.

40) Do you like to wear polka dots? Okay, not only "no", but no one I know is that gay.

41) Do you and your friends like to hang out at diners? The Hollywood Diner! yes.

42) Do you steal sugar packets from restaurants? No, but I should do that now that I've only got the crappy unsweetened Kool Aid.

43) Do you speak French? I know some words in French. But no. Despite having taken 2 years of it in High School. The brainspace that retained the knowledge of French has been co-opted by song lyrics & obscure movie facts.

44) Are you Jewish? No. But Lily wishes we were.

45) Are you/were you ever a Girl Scout? ...no.

46) Do you watch SNL? Yes. And I Tivo'd it and haven't watched yet!!

47) Do you believe what you read in tabloids? Do I look like some inbred hillbilly to you? Don't answer that. NO.

48) Are you a pyromaniac? Heh. not so far, although I did mention how badly I wanted to set fire to the building today at work because it would have meant that I wouldn't have to listen to Enya anymore. I thought I had escaped having to listen to fucking Enya at work when I got out of Barney's Music Wonderland.

49) Do you have a fish? Not anymore. :( *sniff*

50) Have you ever partied all night? Not so much partied...

51) Do you want to join the Navy? Oh, just because I'm GAY you're asking me if I wanna join the Navy? You want me to sing a Village People song for you now? No. I'm not going to do it.

52) Do you eat string cheese by peeling it or just biting it? I don't eat string cheese. And: Eww.

53) Do you like cranberry juice? No. wait. Yeah. I think maybe I do.

54) Do you want to be a model? "i didn't eat anything yesterday! And I'm not gonna eat anything today! And I'm not gonna eat anything tomorrow! Cuz I'm gonna be a SUPERMODEL!!" ...no.

56) Do you call fries "French fries" or "Freedom fries" or something else? oh gimme a break. French Fries!! Although the greatest pizza place in Brooklyn do list them as "Freedom Fries" on their menu. The only negative thing about our beloved Korner Pizza.

57) Do you like sparkly things? Shiny! I like to look at them, but not really wear them.

58) What does your mousepad look like, if you have one? Trackpad, sorry.

59.) Do you watch the family guy? YES. Who doesn't?!?

60) Do you Sing? Yes, but not in front of others.

61) Do you pop your collar? No. And I have to say... it looks kinda retarded. But what do I know about fashion?

62) Do you shop at Hot Topic? Nope.

63) Do you live in a city? Oh please, I live in THE city.

64) Do you read Harry Potter? No. but I will when Lily brings her books up.

65) Are you athletic? You clearly have never seen a picture of me.

66) Do you like chocolate? Yes. In fact when Dr. Andrew Weil is in our store this month for an event, I'm going to kick him in his Grizzly Adams balls for looking down on me & my addiction in his book about addictions called "From Chocolate to Morphine"

67) Have you ever lived in Kansas? No. Although I knew the hottest fucking guy who was from Kansas. Or maybe just Kansas City in MO.? Whatever. He was hot.

68) Do you have satellite TV? Yes. and it might end up being worth it if we don't have to have more people come out to fix it for like a 6th time in a month. fucking pain in the ass satellite.

69) Are you a dancer? NO.

70) Do you like Doritos? I do. I enjoy both the Nacho Cheese & Cool Ranch Doritos, but my favorite hands down are the Salsa Doritos. Mmmmm.

71) Do you smoke? No, there are so many more interesting ways to kill myself.

72) Are you in a band? Bande á part.

73) Do you wear Bermuda shorts? Nope.

74) Do you work out at the Y? No- if I'm going to go to the Y, it's going to be to meet a cute guy. Wait- the Y? WHAT'S UP WITH ALL THE QUESTIONS BASED ON VILLAGE PEOPLE SONGS? homophobic survey.

75) Have you ever paid for something in all nickels? Like, a soda...

76) Do you like strawberry ice cream? Nope.

77) Have you ever passed out? Yes. In the locker room in high school. I woke up surrounded by half naked guys. and that's how I became gay.

78) How many bones have you ever broken? Mine or other peoples? Mine- none. David's... well I didn't *break* it...

79) Do you make prank calls? Not really. Unless you count the times at B&N when Banky would page for someone to call him back & I'd call the extension and hang up, repeatedly. In music, you had to make up your own fun.

80) Have you ever sent a lot of pizzas to an enemy so they'd have to pay for them? Yeah and then we stole the other team's mascot and looked through a peephole into the girl's locker room!! ...no.

81) Do you have a digital camera? No, but I have Lily and SHE has a digital camera.

82) Do you like shopping at Staples? I don't think I've ever been to Staples. Sheltered, I know.

83) Have you ever cut class? Yeah.

84) Do you shop at abercrombie? Fuck Abercrombie & Fitch. (that's a big "no")

85) Have you ever shot spitballs when the teacher wasn't looking? Nope.

86) Have you ever kissed someone just to make your crush jealous? Nope. Although I did once almost meet a man I met online to make a crush jealous. Which wouldn't have worked because he was straight & probably too busy smoking crack or whatever to care.

87) Has anyone rejected you when you asked them out? Not since Susan Artigas in the 10th grade. Maybe because I haven't asked anyone out since.

88) Have you ever had a friend tell a crush you liked them? I um. I'm not sure if my friend told my crush that I liked him, or if he figured it out himself... finally. It was pointless anyway, so who cares.

89) Do you ski? No, drugs are bad & coke is SO 80s.
...oh wait, you meant like... ski. Um. No.

90) Are your parents strict? Nope.

91) Do you play lacrosse? I'm not even really clear on what lacrosse is.

92) Have you ever been evicted? Not yet, but give me a couple of months & I'm sure I'll fuck this up for everybody!

93) Have you ever gotten detention for something you didn't do? Nope, I did everything I got detention for. "And I'd do it again, I tell ya!!"

94) Have you and your best friend ever liked the same person? We do have very similar taste. But they're mostly celebrities, so that's okay. Although we both shared crushes on the same co-workers quite often.

95) Have you ever gotten drunk? Yeah, we all know about me & the Bennigan's chick. Drunk Rick=bad & dangerous.

96) Do you have a crush on a celebrity? I have a crush on EVERY celebrity! Like Mr. Big... who I was like THISCLOSE to.

97) Have you ever gotten a haircut that everyone had and then the next day it was "uncool"? No, I don't really do things that everyone else does. Which is something I should rectify because, hi, I'm a giant loser. I should conform- shop at A&F and maybe then the boys will want me. and my dirty pillows.

98) Have you ever got caught in the undertow at the beach? No, but if that ever happens to you, don't fight it, just ride it out!! I remember this from lifeguard training and shit.

99) Do you like steak? Not usually.

100) Did you like this survey? I did. Which says more about me than all of these ridiculous answers possibly ever could.

i've been doing what i'm told/i've been busy growing old/and the days are getting cold/but that's alright with me

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

that's right, i'm einstein. suck it bitches.
does it make more or less sense than me being Apocalypse Now?!?

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

-r.
having a terrible fucking week.
title quote: bic runga/listening for the weather from Beautiful Collision.
reading: Anansi Boys. still.
watching: Lost on dvd (attempting. i keep falling asleep, dammit)

all of my old world and all the things in it are hard to find

me tonight.

hard week, guys. money. subway terror rumors. money. it kind of sucks.

there are, however, a couple of bright possibilities. my waffles are done. talk to you later.

love, rick

just when i thought our chance had past/you go and save the best for last...

Really Long Survey (over 200)
What is your name?:	Rick
Are you named after anyone?:	yes. my mom recently reminded me who he was. i have already forgotten, but he did karate in our back yard with my dad.
What's your screename?:	captain backfire
Would you name a child of yours after you?:	no! i want no children!
If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be?:	Kelly? because my dad had a thing for Jaqueline Smith from Charlie's Angels
If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?:	I would switch names with my friend Alexis Bledel!!
Are there any mispronounciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly?:	Yes, they mispronounce my last name a lot. It's hard to explain here though.
Would you drop your last name if you became famous?:	And just be "Rick"? No thanks.
Basics
Your gender::	Male
Straight/Gay/Bi::	Gay
Single?:	Single. *sigh*
If not, do you want to be?:	if not single, would i want to be single? that's harsh. what if my hypothetical boyfriend had read that?
Birthdate::	12.12.73
Your age::	31
Age you act::	24
Age you wish you were::	28. this way i wouldn't be so much older than everyone i know.
Your height::	5.11
Eye color::	blue. ish.
Happy with it?:	my eye color? yeah.
Hair color::	blonde. ish.
Happy with it?:	um. this year, i am.
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous::	righty! mostly.
Your living arrangement::	i live in a little house in brooklyn. with 3 lunatics!!
Your family::	live in miami. are nice. i miss them.
Have any pets?:	no. "when is cat coming?"
Whats your job?:	i am a book slave.
Piercings?:	no thank you.
Tattoos?:	still no.
Obsessions?:	several.
Addictions?:	dvds!
Do you speak another language?:	i speak the language of LOVE! ...not really.
Have a favorite quote?:	yes but i can't remember it right now. it's something from Mansfield Park about how "she preferred her own thoughts to the conversation of others..." something like that.
Do you have a webpage?:	rickslepthere.blogspot.com
Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it
Do you live in the moment?:	not usually
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?:	yeah. way too tolerant.
Do you have any secrets?:	i do. you do. we all do! but Matty knows most of mine
Do you hate yourself?:	yes. often.
Do you like your handwriting?:	when i am not so rushed it's okay. but mostly when i'm writing i'm thinking "wow, if i was typing i'd be faster!"
Do you have any bad habits?:	ask Lily.
What is the compliment you get from most people?:	um. that i'm SOOOOO nice.
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?:	The 40 Year Old Virgin. Oh, sorry, Lily...
What's your biggest fear?:	Flying, maybe.
Can you sing?:	I wish I could sing. I do anyway.
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?:	yeah, i pretend to be someone who's not a total loser. sometimes it works.
Are you a loner?:	yes.
What are your #1 priorities in life?:	right now? being able to afford living here on my own.
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?:	maybe. maybe not.
Are you a daredevil?:	not quite.
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?:	i do fear that i'll never figure out what to do with my life.
Are you passive or agressive?:	passive.
Do you have a journal?:	i have a blog. i'm thinking of starting a journal though- there are some things i should maybe keep to myself.
What is your greatest strength and weakness?:	strength: my patience, maybe. weakness: being a bit of... a wuss.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?:	my voice.
Do you think you are emotionally strong?:	strong or heartless? there's a thin line.
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?:	many many things.
Do you think life has been good so far?:	i've been lucky in many ways. but it's been a lifetime of nothing special.
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?:	Credit Cards Are Evil.
What do you like the most about your body?:	my hair is really soft?
And least?:	do you have an hour or two?
Do you think you are good looking?:	no.
Are you confident?:	have you been reading this? no.
What is the fictional character you are most like?:	Gwyneth Paltrow in Moonlight & Valentino
Are you perceived wrongly?:	I think sometimes, yes.
Do You...
Smoke?:	no.
Do drugs?:	no.
Read the newspaper?:	not really.
Pray?:	occassionally.
Go to church?:	no. i'm not about organized religion. at all.
Talk to strangers who IM you?:	sometimes.
Sleep with stuffed animals?:	no. although there are a few stuffed Stitch dolls in my room.
Take walks in the rain?:	not really, although i would if the opportunity arised.
Talk to people even though you hate them?:	quite often. although if Paris Hilton shows up, I'm soooo walking in the other direction.
Drive?:	no. and luckily in NY I don't have to!
Like to drive fast?:	no.
Would or Have You Ever?
Liked your voice?:	No. i hate hate hate my voice.
Hurt yourself?:	Yeah, back during the whole Matt thing... and I'm ashamed to say, earlier this year. Whenever I get a broken heart, I tend to take it out on my hands. I'm a banger.
Been out of the country?:	Nope.
Eaten something that made other people sick?:	Not that I can remember.
Been in love?:	Yep.
Done drugs?:	No. I'm screwed up enough as it is.
Gone skinny dipping?:	No, but I used to really want to.
Had a medical emergency?:	Yeah, a couple. The last time was the day after my High School graduation when i sliced open my ankle. On my front door.
Had surgery?:	Yeah, as a child.
Ran away from home?:	No.
Played strip poker?:	Nooo. When I play strip poker, no one leaves a winner.
Gotten beaten up?:	No, amazingly.
Beaten someone up?:	No.
Been picked on?:	Yes. It was called K-12. And then it was called Toys R Us.
Been on stage?:	Yes, I appeared in the 6th grade production of Cabbage Patch Kids. I also sang a duet of "My Favorite Things" that year- then sang it as a solo.
Slept outdoors?:	Yeah, we used to like to set the tent up in the back yard.
Thought about suicide?:	Yes.
Pulled an all nighter?:	Absolutely. And not just to look at porn.
If yes, what is your record?:	For porn? Oh. um. Allnighter? I don't really know.
Gone one day without food?:	Like... ANY food? No- probably not.
Talked on the phone all night?:	No. Talked online all night? Yes.
Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?:	Yes.
Slept all day?:	Yes. I almost did that today. :( A perfectly good day off sucked off by too much sleep & SIN CITY.
Killed someone?:	I'll give you three guesses.
Made out with a stranger?:	No. Not yet.
Had sex with a stranger?:	Nope.
Thought you're going crazy?:	Yeah.
Kissed the same sex?:	Yup.
Done anything sexual with the same sex?:	Yup Yup.
Been betrayed?:	Sort of. Maybe. It was complicated.
Had a dream that came true?:	A few times. But it only made me wonder if what I was remembering as a dream never actually happened. Deja vu is a crazy thing.
Broken the law?:	Nope.
Met a famous person?:	Yeah- Tiffany. Anthony Rapp. Christian Bale. Neil Gaiman. Parker Posey. Jessica Lange.
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?:	Maybe a bug or something.
On purpose?:	Bugs for sure.
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?:	Yes. But it was REALLY good and the people I told didn't even work with the guy who jerked off in the bathroom stall.
Stolen anything?:	No. stealing is BAD IS THIS QUESTION ON EVERY QUIZ?!?
Been on radio/tv?:	I was on radio once. This is probably the most embarrassing thing I've ever said in these surveys... Um. I was on the radio calling in to hear "Save the Best for Last"
Been in a mosh-pit?:	nope.
Had a nervous breakdown?:	So close. Soooo close.
Bungee jumped?:	no thanks.
Had a dream that kept coming back?:	Not really.
Beliefs
Belive in life on other planets?:	Yeah. Otherwise it's a big waste of space, right?
Miracles?:	I do believe in miracles.
Astrology?:	Nooooo
Magic?:	Sort of. I do.
God?:	Yes.
Satan?:	Yeah.
Santa?:	Nope, sadly my mom broke the truth to me at a Denny's. Um I was 12.
Ghosts?:	Yes.
Luck?:	Yeah kinda
Love at first sight?:	Perhaps.
Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)?:	How would we recognize what is good if we didn't know bad? Yeah, I guess so.
Witches?:	Like Wiccans? Yeah, they exist. Like Glinda? No.
Easter bunny?:	Nope.
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?:	No, I can't believe that. I wish I could.
Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?:	Nope.
Do you wish on stars?:	I used to.
Deep Theological Questions
Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?:	Yeah. and No. I don't know.
Do you think God has a gender?:	I do think if God has a gender then God is a woman.
Do you believe in organized religion?:	Absolutely not. Men have their own motives & designs. They can twist ideas to suit their own means.
Where do you think we go when we die?:	I do believe in Heaven.
Friends
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?:	Yep.
Who is your best friend?:	I'd say Lily.
Who's the one person that knows most about you?:	Matty.
What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?:	"This too shall pass." my Mom.
Your favourite inside joke?:	Currently? "Your mom."
Thing you're picked on most about?:	Probably my poor ability to speak. Saying "Stonewall" rather than "Stonehedge" or "Matlock" instead of "MacGuyver"
Who's your longest known friend?:	Lisa!
Newest?:	Liz
Shyest?:	I don't know, it would be me, actually.
Funniest?:	This is tough. I'm going with Edwin.
Sweetest?:	Probably Lily.
Closest?:	Lily or Matty.
Weirdest?:	Dave.
Smartest?:	Liz. Chris. Edwin. all my friends are too smart for me.
Ditziest?:	Again, it would be me. Gilliane says it's her.
Friends you miss being close to the most?:	Lisa!
Last person you talked to online?:	My mom.
Who do you talk to most online?:	Usually Matty. Currently Tony.
Who are you on the phone with most?:	Either Lily or my Mom.
Who do you trust most?:	Aside from my Mom & Brother? Matty or Lily.
Who listens to your problems?:	Lily/Matty
Who do you fight most with?:	I don't really fight with anyone. I get on Lily's nerves sometimes though.
Who's the nicest?:	Jeanne (& most patient & saintly & greatest cookie maker)
Who's the most outgoing?:	Lily
Who's the best singer?:	Dave's singing along with Sinatra is the best.
Who's on your shit-list?:	Martin for telling me that I had to write him as soon as I got to NY and then never responding.
Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?:	Ummm. yeah.
Who's your second family?:	Lily, Chris & Jeanne- my roommates!
Do you always feel understood?:	Not at all. Quite the opposite.
Who's the loudest friend?:	Gilliane, but in a good way. I love her laugh.
Do you trust others easily?:	Not at all.
Who's house were you last at?:	I can't remember being at anyone else's house lately... I'm going to go with Celso+Edwin's houses.
Name one person who's arms you feel safe in::	Yeah, I'm a cheeseball. My mom's.
Do your friends know you?:	I think for the mostpart, yes.
Friend that lives farthest away::	Matty. All the way on the West Coast.
Love and All That
Do you consider love a mistake?:	Not really- I mean I've learned a lot from my past experiences with l'amour. So even if it doesn't work out, you can gain something.
What do you find romantic?:	Kindness. Gentleness. A sense of humor. A good man.
Turn-on?:	Um, general signs of manliness- hairy chest, 5 o'clock shadow, deep voice...
Turn-off?:	cruelty, immaturity, hair gel.
First kiss?:	SO wrong. but funny.
If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel?:	I'd feel sympathetic. That's usually the position I'm in.
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going:	I prefer to know somebody. Which isn't a good thing.
Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out:	What the hell? Is it 1950 again? It IS socially acceptable. And it doesn't really affect me, so... whatever.
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractiv:	Yeah, actually.
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?:	Actually I think that *only* the opposite sex finds me good looking. Which doesn't bode well for me. Guys don't find me good looking.
What is best about the opposite sex?:	The friendship of women. This is a very heterosexist quiz.
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?:	The way they tear each other down so much. Girls can be pretty vicious.
What's the last present someone gave you?:	Edwin & Celso gave me Harry Potter gifts as a going away present before I moved. It was sort of random.
Are you in love?:	Nope.
Do you consider your significant other hot?:	My left hand? Uh.
Who Was the Last Person...
That haunted you?:	Don't want to say.
You wanted to kill?:	No doubt, one of the many customers camping out, sitting in front of a shelf I needed to get to & generally making a mess.
That you laughed at?:	Gilliane +/or Lily. They're sort of crazy.
That laughed at you?:	Gilliane- for saying Matlock instead of MacGuyver.
That turned you on?:	Z. :)
You went shopping with?:	Lily! At Foodtown! That's exciting stuff.
That broke your heart?:	Don't want to say. But everyone knows.
To disappoint you?:	I can't say that either.
To ask you out?:	Z.
To make you cry?:	Probably my mom, inadvertantly.
To brighten up your day?:	Jeanne- she made us cookies tonight. We're keeping Jeanne.
That you thought about?:	Sporklord. Where the hell has HE been??
You saw a movie with?:	Lily- SERENITY on Friday.
You talked to on the phone?:	Either my mom or Gilliane.
You talked to through IM/ICQ?:	Shawn.
You saw?:	Lily, before she went to bed.
You lost?:	My grandfather.
Right This Moment...
Are you going out?:	No, I'm going to bed!
Will it be with your significant other?:	Yeah, my pillow named Sufjan.
Or some random person?:	I don't sleep with random people....
What are you wearing right now?:	t-shirt. pajama pants.
Body part you're touching right now::	??? I love doing surveys, but I don't LOVE doing surveys.
What are you worried about right now?:	riding the subway tomorrow. paying my bills.
What book are you reading?:	Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman.
What's on your mousepad?:	Trackpad, baby.
Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling::	Sleepy. Anxious. Randy. Hopeful. Melancholy.
Are you bored?:	I just spent like an hour doing this- clearly I was bored.
Are you tired?:	I am now.
Are you talking to anyone online?:	Sadly, no. Was hoping to be.
Are you talking to anyone on the phone?:	Nope.
Are you lonely or content?:	Depends on when you ask me. Right now Lonely.
Are you listening to music?:	yes. Sinéad O'Connor's new album THROW DOWN YOUR ARMS
Take this survey | Find more surveys You've been totally Bzoink*d

i've always had a suspicion about you! so did my mother! your forehead slants back too much!

Today would've been Carole Lombard's 97th birthday! As anyone who knows me can tell you, Lombard is my favorite when it comes to Hollywood's Golden Age. So to celebrate, I'm going to make a run of it- MR. & MRS. SMITH, NOTHING SACRED & of course, my all time favorite: MY MAN GODFREY. So big happy Carole thoughts to everyone today!


rick
-title quote: MR. & MRS. SMITH (the non Brangelina version)

come to me when things go wrong & there's no love to light the way...

so here are some surveys from MYSPACE. I can't help it, I must answer them all!!

1). Have you ever been searched by the cops? Nope. And not for lack of trying- in fact the other night on 23rd street there were like 50 cops on bikes. I got very excited and we almost didn't make it to see SERENITY on time, because I wanted to hop on the back of a bike. Yeah, so what? I have a fetish.

2). Do you close your eyes on rollercoasters? No! You'd miss the whole thing!!

3). When's the last time you've been sleigh riding? Nope. In Miami we don't have the required elements for sleigh riding. Maybe this winter.

4). Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone? Alone... I tend to take up the whole bed. Plus, I toss & turn all night, which would probably annoy anyone else. Of course that's not really a problem at this point. *sigh*

5). Do you believe in Ghosts? I do! We're supposed to have one at work, actually.

6). Do you consider yourself creative? I used to, but I think the well is sucked dry. And that depresses the hell out of me.

7). Do you think O.J. killed his wife? Yes. And I'm so glad I was like the only person at the B&N in Kendall not to ever see him.

8). Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie? I used to like Angelina, until I realized: No. But after having several recurring dreams about Jennifer Aniston in which she gave me vital career advice (she suggested, over a BBQ dinner, that I apply for a job at Home Depot), I've taken a shine to her. So Aniston.

9). Can you honestly say you know anything about politics? No. Which is really embarrassing. I'm such a meathead.

10). Do you know how to play poker? No. Despite having acted in a short film CALLED "The Poker Game" in which my character WON a poker game. I'm so not method.

11). Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? I have the memory of this occuring. Can't remember when exactly. I think probably when I got my ibook!!

12). Do you kill bugs that are in the house? I do, but then I feel bad about it.

14). If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around..do you go through red lights? Despite having spent about 4 hours in the Brooklyn DMV this month, I don't drive. So big fat N/A.

15). Do you have a secret that no one knows but you? Yeah. We all do.

16). Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees? I have no opinion, but I'd be disowned by my family if I said the Yankees, so... go Sox!

17). Have you ever Ice Skated? No, although I used to roller skate every single day.

18). How often do you remember your dreams? Quite often. And then I relate them to others, even when they are semi-humiliating.

19). When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? Possibly during Monday Night's episode of ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT- the funniest show on television. EVER!!

20). Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles? My favorite- "Blackbird" "Day Tripper" "All You Need Is Love" "Two of Us" "We Can Work It Out"

22). Do you believe in love at first sight? Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps.

23). Do you know who Ba-Ba-Booey is? No. "Is it a dwarf?" (if anyone recognizes that quote, they have earned my undying love & admiration)

24). Do you always wear your seatbelt? Yes. Always. Even though I haven't been in a car for more than 2 months (woohoo!)

25). What talent do you wish you had? I really wish I was musical. I wish I was Aimee Mann!!

26). Do you like Sushi? In all fairness, I've never tried it. But I don't care for seafood.

27). Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident? The infamous car accident on Sunset Drive during my senior year. The theme song to Twin Peaks will never play without me thinking about that car spinning around in the rain.

28). What do you wear to bed? Back when I had a bedroom with a lock on the door, I'd strip down to my boxers. Sometimes less than that, which was always nice. Now that anyone could come into my room at any moment, I've become a lot more Victorian: T-shirt and pajama pants.

29). Have you ever been caught stealing? No. Stealing is bad- this is on EVERY SURVEY!! I'm going to write a book: Shoplifting Nation.

30). Does size matter? Not to me. Although I do have a friend who's quite the size queen. ;)

31). Do you truly hate anyone? I truly hate Paris Hilton. You can't blame me for that.

32). Rock and Roll or Rap? Rock. I can only listen to Rap when it's not ignorant, misogynistic shit.

33). If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be? Christian Bale. No question.

34). Do you have a relative in prison? Not that I know of. But we're all waiting for David to get busted for stalking Maya Rudolph, so...

35). Have you ever sang in front of the mirror like your favorite singer? Yeah, when I was 11 I did a kickass Madonna. But I swear that I don't do it anymore. Well, if Kylie's on my stereo...

36). Do you know how to play chess? No. I kick ass at Trivial Pursuit, though.

37). What food do you find disgusting? Macaroni & Cheese makes me literally gag.

38). Did you ever play, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours?" Yeah. In fact, just the other... um. nevermind.

39). Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back? Yeah, but in all fairness, I make fun of my friends (and apparently, their moms) to their faces all the time.

40). Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew? Yes. In the lamest of ways.

41. Have you ever been punched in the face? No, I'm not a fighting man.

42. When is the last time you threw up from drinking too much? Never. I'm sober & get to avoid that kinda fun.

43. Have you ever walked out on a movie at the theater? Yes- Dee Snider's STRANGELAND. awful, awful movie. When they were hanging Robert Englund up by his nipples, we called it quits.

44. Do you ever sit through a bad movie, just to see how bad it can get? No. Although I did sit through KUNG FU HUSTLE in it's entirety waiting for it to get better. I'm much more likely to sit through bad television to see how bad it will get. For example: America's Next Top Model, which Lily & I watched in the hopes that the models would all be shot during the finale.

45. Would you consider yourself obsessed with anything? YEAH. Movies. Music. Books. Men. Mostly movies.

46. Have you ever met someone famous that you really wanted to meet? Yes. In the last month- Neil Gaiman & Parker Posey (ok she was on the phone, but I'm counting it!)

47. Have you ever been stood up? No. But I don't make a lot of dates, you know.

48. When's the last time you screamed at the top of your lungs? I don't remember. Probably sometime during my troubled teens. And probably at my mom. I was an asshole.

49. Did you ever do something that you didn't want to, just to fit in? I'm sure that at some point during those troubled teens, I did.

50. Do you consider yourself "the biggest fan" of something? Well, Lisa is definitely the Indigo Girls biggest fan. Shawn is Aimee's. Maybe I'm Bic Runga's. oh! I know.. Matty. I'm Matty's biggest fan.

------yet still more----
how far can you jump? For your love?

have you ever fallen off a skateboard? Nope. But... I've probably never ridden a skateboard.

do you like to play tennis? No, but I did used to like watching Andy Roddick do.

is beef bad? I like it. It's probably not the best thing you can eat. I made my first hamburger this week!

how many fingers do you have? I wonder if I know anyone who will answer with a different number. 10.

have you ever heard of terry gilliam? Yeah, he's a kick ass director. "Brazil" "Time Bandits" "Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas"

is pot a drug? Dude, just make the shit legal & get over it already. I don't care.

do you take steriods for sexual purposes? Do people really do that? Um. no. I only use steroids for bodybuilding purposes.

are you a schizo? It seems that way sometimes.

do you want to be one? Let me be the one you run to. Let me be the one you come to, when you need someone to turn to. Let me be the one.

is batman your favorite comic hero? Nope. Raven is.

are you a god awful christian? I'm not one of the God Awful ones. I'm not about organized religion at all, but do have faith.

do you like reese's pieces? Yes. Yes, I do.

umm, whats your favoirte candy? Skittles, for sure.

how about alcoholic beverage? I don't drink. Although I recently tried a delectable delight called Bourbon Balls that I fully endorse.

would you ever consider owning a monkey thats addicted to coke? Robbie Williams wrote a song about that.

have you ever gone to rehab? Nope. Although if they've got one for disc addiction, send me.

are you addicted to sex? Safe to say, no. Please don't touch me.

how about pokemon? Pokemon? What am I, six?

if you could be any pokemon character what would you be? The one that kills all of the other Pokemons?

whats your favorite sex position? Ummm... is it too revealing to say The Princeton Rub?

are you really small? I don't know how comfortable I am with this question.

waffles are good, eh? I've been living on waffles here, so yeah- they rock. Plus? Foodtown? 3 boxes for 5 bucks. That's 30 WAFFLES, PEOPLE!!!

"I have worked very hard to get to where I am." -Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton: "I'm still young and still have a very active career that I'm not prepared to give up. I have worked very hard to get to where I am."


...Paris Hilton has a career?

i am a leaf on the wind. watch me soar.

SERENITY.

holy shit. i have to see it again, right now, immediately!! absolutely worth the wait. and Reavers? really fucking scary! and River? really fucking cool! and the guy from DIRTY PRETTY THINGS? really spine-tingle-inducing creepy! and the moment at the beginning when you see the ship flying after the opening titles? goosebumply. i think i got teary eyed. And Zoe? Still the most beautiful ass kicking woman in the world. And and and... FUCKING HELL!!!

all in all, a perfect NYC evening. i try not to make any awful/offensive Joss Whedon is God statements, but i've had a cold for the last two days & after watching the movie, i feel like 90% better.

plus, Nathan Fillion needs to be my cuddlebuddy.

offering up way tmi,
rick
listening to Björk/Drawing Restraint 9
...otherwise sitting in the dark attempting to relive the whole movie. especially the Mal getting out of bed moment, which I hope to dream about all night. i'm sleeping in tomorrow anyway.